Alec Baldwin

Theodore Templeton (voice)

Steve Buscemi

Francis E. Francis (voice)

Miles Bakshi

Tim Templeton (voice)

Jimmy Kimmel

Ted Templeton (voice)

Lisa Kudrow

Janice Templeton (voice)

Tobey Maguire

Narrator / Older Tim Templeton (voice)

Conrad Vernon

Eugene Francis (voice)

James McGrath

Wizzie / Elvis Impersonator (voice)

David Soren

Jimbo (voice)

Tom McGrath

TV Chef (voice)